When I was physically assaulted for the first time, I was not aware that I was the victim of an attack so I forgave him. I thought maybe it was an isolated incident. However, that happened again, again, and again.  Why did I suffer and remain silent? I do not know. Soon, also verbal attacks began. Although, I believe they probably happened earlier and that I did not notice them because I was so in love.  

The combination of physical and psychological attacks affected me deeply. One of the worst attacks – at the time. We were at a celebration. Of course, we had some drinks. I just wanted to go home while he wanted to stay and his needs were more important than mine. I started to leave to go home. He did not let me go. He started to assault me. I was running, but he caught me and threw me on the asphalt. He ordered me to give him the keys of the car. I gave them to  him, I was afraid. He continued to insult me ​​and threw away the keys and left me to look for them and bring them back to him. When he threw them away a final time, I could not find them anymore. He blamed me for losing them and I had to look until I found them. My only happiness on that night was that he hurt his ankle and I managed to escape.  

The next day I forgave him. I just couldn’t leave him. Likewise, his abuse could not be stopped –  when he was drunk. Every time he drank alcohol he became a terrible person. Our agreements were no longer valid. He said that it is my fault for everything bad that happened, because I did not know how to behave. One day we had decided to have a celebration – just him and I. I was waiting and he came. But  he was drunk. I sadly asked him why are you drunk? Because of that question he  dragged me out of the car and started to hit me. I forgave him.  

After a while, he was drunk again. We were at my place. He wanted me to bring him everything he decided he wanted, which I did not want to do. Then he started explaining to me how much he had done for me, and that I did not do anything for him. I asked him to leave and he even started to go. But when I got down he started to hit me. He was saying everything bad to me. He did not go home. I cried a lot. I forgave him. 

For some time he was calm and good to me. We went to another celebration. A lot of my friends were there that I had not seen for a long time, and I greeted them happily. He did not say anything. Until he drank a little more. He hit me wherever he could. He threw me. Probably he would not stop if he hadn’t hit my head so strongly. He was afraid that he had killed me. The next day I could not walk. At that point I decided I did not want to forgive him anymore. He cried, telling me that he was sorry. When I forgave him he  put all the blame on me. After a short time, he hit me again. That day I hardly ran away from him.  

Then I decided it must be over no matter how much I love him. I decided to report him to the authorities. I did not get any result – he did not receive any punishment because we were nobody and nothing in front of the law, we were not married.  

But I found my peace. I got rid of the big cargo. And that is very important. Finally, I live a happy life without fear that somebody will hit me ​​because of some of my movements or behaviour. Today I am a happy woman, but back then I was only 23 years old.