Since I was little I wasn’t the “typical girl “, I loved playing with Lego, doing taekwondo and helping my father with technical activities. From an early age it was clear to me that I can do anything in the world by my own effort.
The older I got, the more I realised that this mindset isn’t really represented in the majority of the society. What, for me, appeared normal as a child, became an uncertainty as an adult. All of a sudden it wasn’t “normal” anymore. In my high school years, I studied technical studies, when somebody asked me about it I often got a surprised look: “What? How many girls* are studying that with you? “And the answer was and is still, far too few!
A related experience was, when I was waiting with an electric-drill in front of my grandmother’s apartment and an elderly man said to me: “Girl, be careful. Don’t hurt yourself! Let it be and ask a man to help you” He couldn’t know that I already managed my moves and built all the shelfs by myself. But, does he need to know that? Shouldn’t it be taken for granted that we women* can do such things?
Many of my colleagues had similar experiences. One of them told me that when she was 13 years old she went to an excursion with her orchestra. She was the youngest, the average age was around 50. One of the older men approached her at the beginning of the journey and complained that all the women leave the orchestra around their 20s to go study. In his opinion, this was a disgrace because he thought that women should get married before they past their mid-20s and then start planning for a child. Well, I think there should not be a choice between being a successful woman or a mother. The goal should be a stable childcare system to empower women and to get more female CEOs!
In many internships, I also have faced the obstacles that women* go through. In my second internship I worked at a construction firm at a steel factory. We did restoration work. The internship was fantastic, but within the whole company area there was no women’s* restroom there was only bathrooms for men* and most of them included a shower. As a teenager, one feels very uncomfortable to go to the men*s bathroom where you could even look into the showers. So I had to cross the whole place (approx. 10 min) to get to the office, and once there I had to change my shoes because it was forbidden to go through the place with working shoes. I had to change them every time. The whole process took at least 25 minutes every time. A simple separation of showers and restrooms would have solved that problem easily.
At my last internship I worked in a construction site, I loved it! It was a very technical internship, the place and people were nice, overall it was a great experience except the fact that I was the only woman* in the whole group. At beginning I didn’t notice absence of litter bins in the toilets until I got my period. Where should I put it? I thought, “At the toilet of the construction site and trust that it doesn’t clog? Where do you put the packing?” Questions and problems a little litter bin in the restroom would have easily solved. And now for all not women* reading this – a bin is a necessity in every toilet!
But, also, little things like the gazing from the male colleagues after you pass through, sometimes too much, that you try to walk through a big circle around them and even then you hear the comments behind you, making you feel uncomfortable in your everyday life.
How is it to sit as a woman in an auditorium with 90% men*? Do you feel constraint? I would say at the beginning of my student days, yes! Definitely! But eventually you get used to the deficiency.
To hear jokes about women*, mother-in-law, or similar is unfortunately very common. But not only jokes, the everyday life at the university is full of discriminative statements. For example, you often hear as a woman* you get easier questions at the oral exams, or in general, pass easier due the way of their dressing. It happened to me. For a full month I studied every day for an oral exam and my male colleague tried to ‘encourage’ me by saying: “Don’t worry, as a girl you will pass anyway“. I dress the same way my male colleagues do. Jeans, shirt, sack coat – Jeans, blouse, blazer. Same outfit! The cliché of the miniskirt and all exists merely due to university-porn movies! I study as much as others or even more to pass my exams only with my knowledge. To pass exams with knowledge is the best counter against all these prejudices.
But not only the daily life at the university gets difficult, also going out often gets pretty difficult. Last summer semester I made a date to go with somebody to a Party. I came to the party with 5 study colleagues directly after the class. We had fun and it was a very nice evening. Suddenly, I remember I arranged a date with somebody earlier. Where was he*? Didn’t we agree to meet here? I looked at my phone and saw three unanswered messages – “Hi, are you already there? “, he responded “I see you but there are only dudes* with you” and the third one was: “I would like to talk with you, but I don’t dare with all the dudes* around you.“ This shows clearly how timid men* become when you are surrounded by other men*.
Even more shocking is when I go out with my female* friends, we have at least had 2 negative encounters with men* every time, they approach us in a disrespectful way or even touching us without our consent. Often we go home earlier because it is upsetting and we are distressed by the atmosphere. But why is it like that? Are men* scared to be unpleasant when other women* are present? Shouldn’t this fact be totally irrelevant? Shouldn’t they behave normal regardless of whether they talk with men* or women*? Yes, they should! Women* don’t need be protected by men* – women* need men* to find it logical to behave in a respectful manner!
Despite all these absences there is also bright times, the sorority between women* in engineering studies is enormous, you find very fast friends and you help and support each other. I think until this comfortable feeling emerges.
A few months ago I was invited at a friend’s home. When I wanted to go to the toilet, the door didn’t lock, no matter how hard I tried. My friend only said, this had already been the case since three weeks but he didn’t know how to fix it. So I offered my help, he helped me to lift out the door and I adjusted the door hinges. And after 5 minutes the door was able to be closed again. After that I also put together his coffee machine and explained to him how to use double-sided tape. Since that day he calls me for every technical thing he needs done and asks for my help. Last week for the first time in his life we put together a cupboard and he didn’t need to call a contractor to do so. All of that, because women* can also help you with technical issues. To all the readers out there, next time something in your house needs a technical hand; ask one of your female friends to help you! This reproduction of cliché is not helping to transform the cliché pictures in some people’s head.
For all women*, who read this text – Don’t discourage yourself! Only with more women* in engineering and in leading positions this problem will be solved. Because if more women bring themselves to make the step into engineering, men* and women* can finally support each other.
